FAQs About Therapy in General
What is therapy?
Who needs therapy?
How does therapy work?
How do I know who is the best therapist for me?
Should I be able to call a therapist to talk to them before meeting them?
Does therapy always make us feel better?
How long do people stay in therapy? How long should I stay in therapy?
What is therapy?
There are many types of psychotherapy. They share an approach to symptom-relief, behavior change and psychological growth that involves weekly meetings with a psychotherapist, to discuss the client's symptoms, problems and goals ("talk therapy"), and to develop and implement a treatment plan. Depending on the type of therapy, the treatment may also involve a variety of "homework" exercises and emotion, cognition and behavior monitoring by the client. Therapy may be short-term (4-12 weeks) and problem-focused (for example, reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression, some specific phobia, relationship problems), or longer term (6 to 12 months to many years), and addressing both the specific undesirable symptoms as well as deeper transformation of beliefs and attitudes.
Who needs therapy?
Simply put, therapy is for anyone who wants to feel happier and more satisfied with life. That is not to say that therapy is necessary for happiness, or that making changes in our lives requires therapy.
There are many self-help books available for addressing specific symptoms (depression, anxiety, relationship problems, substance abuse…). Sometimes a self-help book or self-help group (such as the AA for alcohol abuse) can help.
At other times, it helps to talk to a psychotherapist to identify what causes emotional distress and how to go about feeling better. So another way to look at therapy: it's for anyone who would like to make some changes in their lives, but is finding it difficult to do this alone. It helps to have someone who can listen empathically, non-judgmentally and provide another perspective.
How does therapy work?
That depends on the type of therapy – and the type of problem we are trying to address. For some problems, research evidence suggests specific approaches that seem to work most of the time. For example, various phobias typically respond to exposure and systematic desensitization – that is, gradual, controlled exposure to the feared situation (flying, heights, public speaking….). For relationship issues, better communication strategies often help, and simple rules about listening and open communication can go a long way towards resolving many relationship problems. For depression, cognitive therapy often helps, which involves identifying patterns of 'distorted thinking' that contribute to feelings of depression.
For more information about the different types of therapies, as well as my approach to therapy, please click on the "Resources" and "About" links above.
How do I know who is the best therapist for me?
As with any other relationship, the therapeutic relationship requires the "right chemistry". Relationships are complex. It's difficult to know a priori if a particular relationship will "feel right", or if a particular therapist will be helpful to you. To find the right therapist for you, you can first see if the therapist's background and philosophy "feels right" for you. For example, if you are looking for an active therapist, who will provide feedback, direction and advice, then a therapist who does more listening than talking may not feel comfortable to you. Conversely, if you want someone who listens carefully and speaks only infrequently, and does not offer advice, then an active, directive therapist will not feel comfortable.
If the therapist's background and philosophy seem like a good fit, the next step is to meet with the therapist. That's really the only way you will be able to tell if this is someone with whom you feel comfortable. I tell my clients to give it three tries. If after the 3rd session you don't feel comfortable, something "doesn't feel right", it may be a sign to look for a different therapist. It's a good idea to discuss this with your therapist, because the problem may be something simple and easily resolved, and fixing the problem may actually deepen the therapeutic relationship. Ultimately, it's your choice and only you know if a particular person is right for you. Just because your best friend thinks someone is a great therapist doesn't mean that s/he is the best therapist for you. You are the only judge and you need to trust your instincts.
Should I be able to call a therapist to talk to them before meeting them?
Yes. Not every therapist will agree with this, but I believe that a prospective client should be able to speak to a therapist before deciding to meet in person. You have the right to ask what their background is, how long they've practiced, how much experience they have with your particular situation. Some therapists feel that this information is irrelevant – that any therapist can help anyone with any problems. I don't believe this to be the case. Clearly, a therapist with a lot of experience with treating a particular condition will have more knowledge and more to offer. This does not guarantee success, but it makes it more likely. Conversely, lack of experience with a particular issues does not mean the therapist won't be able to help you. Sometime it may even help, as the therapist may approach the problem with a new perspective. Again, it comes down to speaking with the therapist and making a decision based on your feelings.
Does therapy always make us feel better?
Not always. Therapy can bring up difficult feelings that we have not been wanting to face. There may be times when therapy brings up uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions, such as sadness, uncertainty, doubt, shame, guilt or anger. Getting in touch with these feelings, some of which may be "old feelings", accepting their presence and letting them go can be helpful, and often necessary, for continued psychological growth.
There may be times when you may feel angry with your therapist. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you discuss your feelings with your therapist. Discussing issues that come up in your relationship with your therapist can deepen the relationship and ultimately help. On the other hand, if you continue to feel badly after many sessions, and you don't feel that the therapy is helping you in your life outside of therapy, it may be time to think about taking a break or finding a different therapist.
How long do people stay in therapy? How long should I stay in therapy?
This is very individual. It depends on the person, and on what s/he is trying to accomplish in therapy. Some people go to therapy for a very short time (4 – 12 weeks), others go for several years, others go for many years multiple times a week. You should stay in therapy as long as you feel that it's helping you in some way in your life outside of the therapy.
Tel. / email: 413-341-6689 or eva@therapy21st.net.
409 Main St., Suite 250, Amherst, MA
6-8 Crafts Ave., Suite 2R, Northampton, MA
